All That Glitters
by The Disposable Villain
Summary: "Art isn't meant to be pretty; it's meant to make you feel something." Sirius wants to get tattoos. Remus wants to know why Sirius never wears short sleeves. [Wolfstar, Jily] [Bisexual James and Remus, Gay Sirius, Asexual Peter] [Desi James] [Marauders Era]


**Heyo! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Elliot. You can thank ethereal-xo for dragging me back into Marauders fics for this. It was initially meant to be 200 words of fluff but oh well. The title's meant to be a bit of a play on the 'all that glisters is not gold' saying in a fore-warning way but also happy because sometimes things that glitter are gold. Anyway, hope you enjoy this. My boys need more magical tattoos.**

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**CW: Self-harm (Remus eating chocolate to kill the wolf, cutting), scarring, mentions of abusive families**

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Christmas after his friends became animagi, Remus got as much money as he feasibly could together to buy them presents. He knew that they wouldn't expect it, but he expected it of himself.

They stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas that year. Peter was having issues with his family, and Sirius wanted to avoid his own. They were the only Gryffindors who stayed aside from Lily, so Remus got her a gift too, even if it was smaller.

Christmas morning, the four boys ran down to the Christmas tree to open presents by the fire. The table had a paper tablecloth over it - the lion of Gryffindor wore a Santa hat and carried a sack of gifts on its back. It roared silently on the covering as snow fluttered down around it. On the table were several small bowls of sweets and a plate of cupcakes. A two litre bottle of butterbeer sat off to the side.

By the time Lily came down in a fluffy dressing gown with her hair messy and tied up, they had gotten through most of the presents from their families.

"Evans!" Sirius waved her over. "Come on - you're falling behind!"

Lily rolled her eyes but sat cross legged between him and Peter. "It's not a race." But she grabbed the first present with her name on it and tore it open.

Remus sat back and watched for the most part. His parents had gotten him some nice chocolates and a woolen scarf but with the treatments and cost of books, it was all they could afford. He passed around one of the packets of chocolate. Sirius was the only one to refuse. "It'll make me sick."

Lily frowned and took one piece of chocolate. "Since when are you lactose intolerant?"

"Oh, is that what it's called?" Sirius looked at her. And then shrugged. "I don't know. I just can't eat chocolate."

It had only happened since he became an animagus. When he tried, he ended up throwing up. It wouldn't kill him. Remus knew that from experience. But it hurt like a bitch.

Remus took a piece as well as the packet circled back around to him. He had only had three pieces and his stomach was already beginning to hurt. Good. Maybe if he kept going, it would die.

James got to his present first. He stared at the gift tag for a moment before he opened it. "Shit, Moony…."

Remus shrugged. "It's the first quaffle you scored a goal with. I figured you'd like it, and it's not like the school was using it."

James turned the ball over in his hands. Remus had gotten his name stitched into it in red and gold. **James ****'Prongs' Potter - 1959. **He was the first player of colour on the Gryffindor team. James reached over to pull Remus into a hug. "You're a menace," he muttered, but he was grinning. "Shit, man, you didn't need to do this."

"I wanted to." Remus messed up James' hair and pushed him back. Peter had gotten to his present too - a book on Latin. He was always interested in learning Latin and the roots of spells.

Lily, Remus had gotten a basket of her favourite muggle sweets. That was one of the hardest to get, even though it was the cheapest. She plucked a box of cinnamon teabags out of it and hugged it to her chest.

Sirius just stared at his. It was small. Just a pair of black sweatbands and sleeves.

He had never been a fan of his elbows and wrists - they were too knobbly and he had an odd scar on his left forearm from when he fell down the stairs in the summer before second year. A year or two later, he confessed that when he said he 'fell', he meant he was pushed. So he always wore too-heavy long sleeved clothes in the summer but the sleeves were light and would cover everything he needed if he wanted to wear a t-shirt.

As for the sweatbands, **Padfoot** had been stitched into them in rainbow letters - he had only come out to them a month or two earlier. Along with his name, on the opposite side of the band, was a large white paw print.

He looked up at Remus.

Remus offered him a small smile. "You're the white dog of your family." He shook his head. "It's a dumb joke but-"

Sirius threw his arms around Remus' neck. "I love them."

Remus' heart leapt to his throat and he returned the hug. Sirius was shaking, but when he pulled away, he was grinning. "I'm never taking these off," he laughed as he pulled on the sweatbands.

All of them laughed, but it wasn't until fifth year that Sirius took the sweatbands off around anyone.

* * *

Wizards were always very good at turning things into parties. Christmas, New Year, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Pride. The muggle world hardly even had pride marches, but by the 1970s, the wizarding world had already made leaps and bounds towards equality. So the Marauders liked to sneak off to Diagon Alley for a weekend for pride. It wasn't that their parents wouldn't accept them, but it was fun to sneak out.

Sirius and James lived together from the summer of third year on, and would tell the Potters that they were going to Remus'. Remus would tell his parents he was going to Peter's. Peter would tell his parents he was going to the Potter house.

It was all too easy. They would get the Knight Bus in and get changed there. James and Sirius were always almost ready when they left the house. Sirius liked to wear dresses in general - pants bothered him, especially in the summer. For pride, he picked some of the most over the top things he could. For the pride of '74, he chose a fantastic sky blue number with little wave designs, a black leather jacket, and gold heels. The skirt of the dress reached his knees, and in lieu of the belt of the dress, he wore a rainbow flag around his waist. Remus did his makeup on the bus.

"God, you're amazing at this, Moony," Sirius said as Remus lined his eyes with gold. "Can't understand how you can do this on this thing."

Remus just smiled. He had practice keeping a steady hand around Sirius when every instinct in his body screamed at him to move. "It's a secret."

James was a little more subtle than Sirius, but not by very much. He wore a rainbow flag draped over his shoulders like a cape with a t-shirt that read **FAGGOTS ARE FANTASTIC** in giant white capitals. He didn't like to wear the bisexual flag. Not like Remus did. He initially said he felt like a bit of a fraud going to pride when he liked girls more than boys, but they dragged him anyway.

Remus didn't own a flag at the time. He never saw it as necessary to come out to his parents again unless he ended up in a relationship with a boy. But Sirius would paint the bi pride flag over his cheeks every year, and he had a small collection of badges that he wore on his shirt. Sirius would buy him a new one every pride. He was aiming to get a flag that year. It had only been coined a year or two before by an American wizard. The muggles still hadn't managed to get a gay flag, let alone a bisexual one. Some day the flags would bleed over - hopefully sooner rather than later.

Peter was the only one who forewent any sort of pride gear. He was there to support his friends, and so he joined the parades with James and a large sign every year. In '74, it was **I may be straight, but I don****'t hate.** He wasn't ready to acknowledge his asexuality anywhere outside of their group.

The second they stepped off the bus, they slipped into the crowd unnoticed. James and Peter took to the parade itself, but Remus and Sirius were more than content to wander. James was more the activist of the group at the time.

They liked to stick to the parks. It was peaceful and warm, and normal. Music played faintly in the background as they dropped to the grass. Sirius sat up against a tree while Remus sat cross-legged. They passed a bottle of firewhiskey between them.

"What would James say if he saw you corrupting me?" Remus laughed as he took a swig.

"Corrupting you my arse. There's nothing left to corrupt." Sirius scoffed and pulled the bottle away from him. "And that's enough for you."

"You're more of a lightweight than me."

Sirius hummed and took a sip. "Do you want to go and get a tattoo with me?"

Remus sputtered and stared at him. On the path below, a small group of teens in rainbows with bright hair laughed as they walked by. "Sorry, what was that?"

Sirius shrugged and peered at the bottle. They had drunk about half of it. "I've been wanting one for ages. We could slip into muggle London."

"You can't get one for three years."

"Yeah, like I don't have a fake muggle ID." Sirius reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a card. It had his face on it, but nothing else. According to the card, he was born in 1952 and his name was Richard Smith. "Come on. This is neither the worst idea I've had, nor the most impulsive thing I've done."

It was true. Remus chewed his lip. "Where?"

Sirius shrugged. "Don't know. I don't really know what I want yet."

Remus shook his head and leaned forward. He snatched the ID card from Sirius' fingers and pocketed it. "I'll tell you what," he said. "If you put some thought into it, I'll come and watch you get it next year."

Sirius' scowl morphed into a grin. "Really?"

"Sure."

* * *

After the parade, they would rent two rooms at the Leaky Cauldron and go home the next day. They had a cycle of who would share with who. Peter was with James that year, leaving Remus with Sirius.

They sat cross legged on the bed, both more than a little drunk, and the room was so hot that Sirius had his sleeves rolled up. He didn't take off his sweatbands, and Remus was just tipsy enough that asking seemed like a good idea.

"You never take those off."

Sirius' shoulders got a bit tense. "Yes I do."

"Not that I've seen." Remus met his gaze. "I used to think you just really liked them, but…" He trailed off.

Sirius looked down and traced patterns onto the duvet. "Let's just go to sleep, Moony."

"Is it your mom?" Remus asked. "Did she do something to you?"

Sirius' head jerked up and he stared at Remus for a moment. "What?"

"You always wore long sleeves because you hated the scar you got from her." Remus edged a little closer to him. "Is this the same?"

Sirius shook his head. "No."

"Are you sure? Because if she did, you should tell at least James-"

"I promise." Sirius looked up at Remus again. "She hasn't seen me since I left." He took a slow breath. "It's nothing that someone did to me. I-" He took another, shuddering breath and reached up. His fingers dug into the sweatband on his left wrist and he closed his eyes.

Something clicked just before Sirius pulled the bands off in two swift movements. Pink scars stared up at Remus from his wrists. They were both thick, almost a thin oval with pointed corners. A few smaller ones poked out at the edges, but they were almost white.

"Please don't hate me," Sirius whispered. "I can't- I can't lose you."

Remus carefully reached out and took Sirius' hand. He lowered his head and slowly pressed his lips to Sirius' wrist. He kissed ever single one of the seven scars on his left wrist, and the five on his right one. Then he kissed the larger ones again.

He felt something wet land on the top of his head. When he looked up, fat tears were dripping down Sirius' cheeks and his teeth were lodged firmly in his lower lip. "Damn it," he whispered. He pulled one hand away to swipe at his eyes. "It was a while ago and- and I just couldn't deal with it. I couldn't- couldn't handle being in that house anymore but I didn't know how to get out and it helped and-" He bit back a heavy sob. His shoulders shook with the effort.

Remus reached up and cupped Sirius' cheek. "Hey, look at me." Sirius reluctantly raised his gaze. "Nothing is going to make me hate you," Remus said. "Nothing. Got that?"

Sirius sniffed and nodded. "O-Okay."

Remus shook his head and pressed a kiss to Sirius' forehead. Sirius leaned up, and Remus inched back.

"Oh." Sirius' cheeks burned. "Sorry, I- I thought-"

Remus' cheeks turned red. "No, no, it's not that, I just-" He swallowed. "-didn't think this was the best time. I mean, we're both drunk and you just told me that and you mightn't want to do this when you're sober again-" He cut himself off when he caught Sirius staring at him. "What?"

"I've liked you since we were twelve, Moony. This is nothing to do with the alcohol."

"You-" Remus' words caught in the back of his throat. What the shit? What the actual _shit_? Sirius liked him all that time? Holy fuck, Remus wasn't pining after him for nothing? "I- You-" He had to take a slow breath. "You're kidding."

Sirius shook his head. "I wouldn't joke about that."

Remus started laughing. He couldn't help it. With the pleasant buzz from the alcohol still lingering, it was just too easy.

Sirius frowned. "What's so funny?"

"I've had the biggest crush on you since second year," Remus snorted.

Sirius' jaw dropped and he groaned. He buried his head in his hands. "Why are we such disasters?" He whined. "God damn it!"

"Exactly!" Remus only laughed harder. It was infectious, and Sirius couldn't help but join him.

Eventually their laughter petered out and the white noise of the night filled in. In the room above, a toilet flushed. "So, um…" Sirius fidgeted with the duvet.

Remus hesitated, then leaned in. Sirius' lips parted, but Remus paused a few centimetres away. He could feel Sirius' breath on his lips. It tasted of sugar and alcohol. Sirius was the one to close the gap. The kiss was clumsy and soft, and it felt like time ceased existing for those few seconds. Remus couldn't breathe.

When they pulled away, he just had to sit there for a moment. Sirius watched him. "What does this make us?" Remus asked him. "Should we talk about it when we're sober? Or now? Because we should talk about it. I don't want to lose my best friend." He was overthinking again - one of his talents.

A slow grin spread across Sirius' face. "How about partners in crime?"

Remus hit him with a pillow.

* * *

After Hogwarts, Remus and Sirius managed to pool enough money together to buy a small cottage in the countryside in Scotland. It only had three rooms - one bedroom with a bathroom, one kitchen, and one living room. The entire house had wooden floors, and the couch was pull-out in case Lily and James or Peter wanted to stay over.

It rained a lot, but the cottage was cosy and had a stone fireplace that Remus kept burning most days. Remus liked to sit in the tiny alcove with a book and a mug of tea whenever it rained. The light pitter-patter of rain against the window pane soothed him.

Sirius joined him whenever he woke up. Usually around noon.

That day, it was earlier.

"Morning," Sirius yawned, climbing into the alcove.

Remus wrinkled his nose and pulled his feet up closer to him. "You stink. Go shower."

"I'll shower in a bit." Sirius settled between Remus' legs, lying on his chest.

Remus sighed but set his tea on the table and wrapped an arm around Sirius' waist. "What do you want?" He murmured, looking back at his book.

Sirius snorted. "Do I have to want something to cuddle up with my fiancé?"

"Yes."

Sirius hummed and nuzzled into his chest. He was silent for a moment. Remus' eyes remained fixed on one passage in his book. He wouldn't be able to focus until Sirius told him what was wrong.

"Do you want to take a trip into Diagon Alley this weekend?" Sirius asked.

Remus chewed his lip. "We went last weekend. What do you need to get?"

Sirius tugged at the sweatband on his right wrist. "I want to get those tattoos."

Remus paused and marked his place in the book. "Are you sure?" The tattoos weren't a big deal on their own. Sirius had already gotten a few.

Two constellations rested on his left hip - Leo and Orion the hunter. The stars Sirius and Regulus were brighter than the others, and they used to grow brighter when the two brothers were closer emotionally. Regulus hadn't brightened since the empty coffin had been buried in the Black family tomb. Sirius hadn't been allowed to attend the funeral.

A stag, a rat, a black dog, and a wolf ran around his shoulder blades during the day and slept at night. The rat had been getting a little further away from the others. Remus wanted to talk to Peter about it, but Sirius insisted that it was just stress.

And then he had a moon above his heart that waxed and waned with the phases of the moon. That was his first tattoo to get. Remus had almost cried when he saw it the first time.

But these were different. Sirius had only wanted to get them if he was getting bad again. Remus held him closer. "Have you-?"

"No." Sirius shook his head. "God no." He pulled off his sweatbands for proof. A few more scars had joined the first ones Remus had seen, but nothing fresh was there.

Remus relaxed a little. He would have seen any cuts on his legs or sides. But the wristbands… he had missed signs before.

Sirius pulled on his sweatbands again and ran his thumb over the white paw print. "But I don't want to get that bad again. Ever."

Remus nodded. "Alright." He kissed the side of Sirius' head. "We'll go in tomorrow."

* * *

It took six hours to complete the sleeves, but Sirius walked out content with his forearms and a patch on his chest covered in cling film, and Remus followed him with a matching patch over his heart. They helped each other keep them dry, and when they took them off a few days later, they stood shirtless in front of the mirror to examine them.

A white paw print sat on Remus' chest, just over his heart. In it were the initials **S.B. **and **R.L.** Sirius' tattoo was just beneath the animals. A golden band with the same initials engraved on the inside. He had been considering getting a piece of chocolate done when they first considered it months earlier, but Remus had reluctantly admitted just why he liked chocolate so much as a child. It had been a night of tears.

They couldn't get married yet, so it was the closest to a ceremony they could have.

And covering Sirius' arms were walls of flowers - amaryllises for pride, mallows for love, campanulas for gratitude, and gardenias for strength. They would grow and shrink with seasons, but any time he tried to hurt himself, they would flourish and stop him.

Sirius took a breath. He wanted to test it. He did. But it would hurt Remus if he even tried.

Remus pulled him close and turned to face Sirius. He wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist. "You look like art."

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**Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think and I hope to see you again.**


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